The end of a beautiful relationship

Its been some time since I have contributed to this blog so, I feel, I need to come clean, especially with those of you who have kindly e-mailed me and asked ‘where are you’? Had I really just dropped off the face of the earth?

Well, just before Christmas I had some bad news, news that left me emotionally wracked and unable to function in quite the same way.

My partner of many years is leaving me. My rock, my confidant, the one who keeps me on the straight and narrow, the one who has shared our good times, and the bad, the one on whom I rely totally to get me through the day, the one who intuitively knows what I need and is there, before I even need to ask…. has decided to leave me.

Yes, my PA. Lynne is pregnant. How am I going to cope? And here lies the fundamental truth; PA’s are the hub and the unsung heroes of our organisations.

Lynne is central to the BT Convention Centre, we even call her ‘the Deputy General Manager’. When I’m not there, she pretty much does my job for me.

Lynne knows everyone and everyone knows (and loves) Lynne. Even tempered, always courteous, wicked scouse humour and a great sounding board – how important is their job?

Well that has been recognised by Confex. Last year, Duncan moved the dates so that Kerrin MacPhie, our Head of Sales as so many others can spend half term with their children.

(I also have the pleasure of a week’s worth of travelling to work without having the factor in the blinking school run, giving me an extra 15 minutes in bed. Bliss.)

I’m delighted as well, that I don’t have to endure the 2 hour train journey back to Liverpool with other people’s screaming kids. After 3 days of Confex, its difficult to continue being nice to everyone you come into contact with. I think you know what I mean!

But back to our wonderful PA’s. This year Duncan has arranged a PA’s day, to recognise the importance of these people. They are not just about diary management, they make bookings! They have spending power and are often as close as you’ll get to the Chief Executive of many organisations.

So, when you see the fecund Lynne at this event, (easily spotted, she will be the one with a big tum and the scouse accent), please say ‘hello’.

And please suggest to her that one child is more than enough for any family….. please!

Before I lose her again.

The Glass Ceiling

This week I spoke at a local schools 6^th form careers evening on ‘The Glass Ceiling’.

So different was this, and so enthused was I to be asked to speak, I was even willing to give up one of my precious evenings vegetating in front of ‘The One Show’ with a glass of Pinot!

It saddens me that teenage girls still perceive their gender as a challenge to their careers. I thought we had moved on. My co-presenters were Julie, a senior Merseyside police officer and Esther, ex TV presenter and now forging a career in politics.  All of our businesses were perceived to be male dominated, hence the invitation.

For our industry, the latest State of the Nation figures reports that nearly 60% of the hospitality, leisure, travel and tourism workforce are women, yet only 6% are at director level.  Perhaps there is more of a glass ceiling than I realised?

Off I trotted, with great thoughts of how I would inspire this group to aim high, ride the wings of success, become a Captain of Industry, maybe the moon….?

Now, I never had children, never got around to it.  Having a family was item 6 on my ‘Life Agenda’, you know, the item just before AOB that you might get around to if time hasn’t overrun. 

When I hit 40, I remembered that I had forgotten to do something..  That’s it!  I had forgotten to have children!!  Whoops, how did that happen?  By that time, however, I was in a totally selfish groove and nothing; nothing was going to disrupt my carefully crafted, self centred, hedonistic lifestyle.  The only children in my life were dogs; I adopted an Orwellian philosophy, ‘four legs good, two legs bad’.

Consequently, I have limited experience of teenagers and little concept of age.  If I ran a pub, no-one would get served as they will all, to me, look under-age. I walk up to bemused 25 year olds to inform them that truanting is neither big nor clever!

When I look in the mirror, I do wonder who that other woman is in my bathroom, that woman who is forty-something, slightly wrinkly, a little saggy round the edges because that face don’t fit with my mental age, my attitude or my approach to life! 

So it was a double whammy when I walked into that room of 6^th formers – how young they all looked.  How stunning, how self assured.  How they have the excitement of their whole lives ahead of them…

Gosh, did I feel old, And very jealous.  I’d quite like my life back again to give it another go please!

It was a great evening, inspired and driven by four 6^th formers who worked so hard to make it a success.  As we all know in our industry the smoothest, most professional events are always the ones that have thought and hard work behind them.  This was one of them.

Later that evening as I sat in my garden, with the deferred glass of Pinot, cigarette hanging attractively from my bottom lip reminiscent of Andy Capp’s wife, I felt every year of my age.

And then, poisonously I thought, ‘Hah, but I bet they won’t be retiring in their 60’s!’

 Let’s just hope I will be!

Liverpool’s got wind!

British Wind Energy is with us today and we always pride ourselves on going that extra mile in Liverpool to welcome our visitors.  So our delegates may feel very much at home with strong winds that are probably realising the top speed of 23 knots, coming down the Mersey.

 

Here’s an interesting fact.  Did you know that some wind turbines actually, as a safety feature, stop turning if it gets too windy?

 

Now our wind turbines and our green credentials were a significant factor in securing this piece of business but is it really that simple?  Are we tired of fighting the green corner in our industry?  It’s a hard fight; we all operate huge, gas guzzling buildings for starters.

We can’t always get it right; it is a tough challenge even with a new building and all the latest environmental features. So let’s not beat ourselves up about it too much.
I can’t even get it right at home.  I am my own little eco-warrior, always have been, but here’s a challenge: my cleaner. 

 

I was quickly put in my place when Jen started.  One look in the cupboard and out went the eco cleaners – “I want ‘proper ones,” she said. 
 
I’m a little frightened of Jen. She’s a feisty Scouser and you don’t mess with these women at any level.  So I capitulated.  Lily-livered, yellow-bellied, I capitulated.  So much for principles.
 
Jen is now affectionately known as ‘Chemical Ali’.  Not only does she insist on ‘proper’ cleaners, she goes through them like the devil. How much cleaning fluid can one woman get through?  An awful lot it would seem and that’s just my house, not even a large, multipurpose venue!
 
So, while we as an industry acknowledge environmental issues as important perhaps we have a sense of despair and ennui.  Perhaps we tire of talking about it?  Perhaps we wonder how can we ever get there? 

 

Pile on the guilt further with our desperate need for lucrative international business and the carbon footprint that that involves; you could be nearly suicidal!
 
Well, I can’t even achieve it at home it would seem. All my recycling, growing my own veg, my worm farm etc can’t negate the effect of ‘Chemical Ali’.  So, my friends, accept that you can’t do everything but celebrate what you can do.
 
And where am I writing this?  6am, on a lonely station in the middle of Cheshire, cancelling a day of appointments.  I am freezing cold and all because I decided to do the right thing and leave my car at home and use public transport to catch the train to London, a train I have now missed as the village bus runs to its own, unique, timetable.

 
It’s great to be green!

BlogHer!

Not sure if there’s an RFP on your desk for this, but in Chicago recently a conference took place called a ‘BlogHer’. It was an opportunity for women who are into social networking to get together and talk about Facebook, Twitter etc. So why just women? Why not a ‘BlogHim’?

As I sit on my sofa, reading a magazine, writing this on my lap top, texting from my mobile, watching the latest Harry Hill, (“don’t switch that over, I am watching that!”) my husband mutters ‘you’re always communicating’. He’s right, that’s it! That’s what the majority of women enjoy doing and, I would hazard, the majority of men don’t. We are always communicating! Twitter, Facebook etc gives women the perfect opportunity to communicate during the tiny gaps in our busy lives.

 We text and we tweet whilst we wait for the train, the bus, the kettle to boil or, dare I say it in my case, the traffic lights to turn to green. Social networking allows me to catch up with ‘my’ friends in ‘my’ time. It allows me to make new ones! Instead of standing around at networking events after a long day at work, smiling at strangers, warm glass of fizz in hand, struggling to make ‘small talk’ with potentially non useful contacts, who are as disappointed in your usefullness to their business you as your are in them, social networking allows me to cut to the chase!

My followers and those that I follow are interested in, or working within, my business. I tried to sell the value of Twitter to my husband (number of followers, 3, networks, 0), I said “look at it as a perfect opportunity for you to answer me back or to even get a word in edgeways”. “Yes” he said, “But I only have 140 characters in which to do so”.

Excuse me? Could you please tell me where the nearest Convention Centre is?

Hammering along a motorway recently, my low attention span kicked in and I decided to play with my Tom Tom to see what other features it had.
 
‘Oooh’, I excitedly exclaimed as I tapped away at the settings, ‘there’s a feature that flags up when we are near a Convention Centre!’
 
A wry smile and a pitying tilt of the head from my husband (who was driving for those who might wonder if I have turned  multi tasking into a new, extreme sport)  shamed me into thinking just how challenging it is for the partners of those of us in this business. 
 
They, too, have to put up with the bizarre hours and our passion for our trade; if we are not at work, you can bet we are talking about it.  They accept that we don’t have ‘a job’, that we have chosen a ‘lifestyle’ and the consequence that they are on the payroll to boot.
 
But back to the Sat Nav.  What is it about this gadget that can inspire such bile and vitriol between two people who have never had an argument in their life (though goodness knows I’ve tried to start a few!). 
 
The only other situation I know of that causes such animosity between couples, exposing the ‘Mr Hyde’ aspect of their personalities, is shopping at IKEA
 
IKEA is the place you see perfectly happy people experiencing the most incredible stress.  Does the blue and yellow livery put people into an argumentative state of mind? The fights in the Marketplace.  Half filled trolley’s abandoned mid aisle; had they just have had enough and stormed out?  Together?  Seperately? 
 
Then the car dilemma, the realisation that you have not, despite all your best intentions and promises to each other, kept to the carefully compiled shopping list.  “Flippin’ heck, it won’t all fit in?”  This is the ultimate disappointment, you’ve made it through the aisles, to the check out without the hint of a decree nisi, and now there is the potential to fall at the final hurdle!
 
One of the funniest moments I saw, (and I really shouldn’t have laughed), was when one chap became very agitated at not being able to fit in all the pre-packed furniture that, quite clearly, had not been on his shopping list into his car. In sheer frustration he slammed the hatchback shut, popping the glass in all three back windows.
 
The saddest was ‘The Abandoned Woman’.  Alone she sat, ‘The Abandoned Woman’ on the kerb, purchases strewn around her.  She pulled despondently on a cigarette, inhaling deeply, hunched with the poise of a person who has just been told her house is on fire.  Perhaps it was? 
 
Was her accomplice really going to come back and pick her up?  Her demeanor suggested she was not optimistic and the chance of said partner being in the pub, just starting his second pint, with no intention of returning was a very real fear.
 
So, there is a new challenge in our relationship.  Sat Nav.  We end up having the most furious arguments: three way as we shout at and argue with the Sat Nav as well.  Even our attempts to humour the situation by (how sad is this) installing Homer Simpson as ‘the voice’ fails to appease.
 
We have decided, as we did with IKEA, that Sat Nav can no longer be part of our life.  There were three of us in this relationship, it was a bit crowded. 
 
And how will I deal with my tragic need to have our proximity to a conference centre potentially remaining a mystery?
 
‘You really don’t need to change the settings’ my husband said as he fixed his eyes back on the road, ‘I have you to tell me!’